he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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