When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
