Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
