Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
