She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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