Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
