So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
