The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
