Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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