I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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