so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize