I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize