Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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