Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
