I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
