Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
