So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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