belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
