Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
