If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
