I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize