I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want her autograph on my taint
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
