So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm like, not good at living.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
