Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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