he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
