Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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