He asked me if I "almost moaned"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
