dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
