Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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