Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
