stop calling my apartment porn island.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
