No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
