Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
