I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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