I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
