Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
