I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
