The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
