The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
