ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
