He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
