READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
