Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
