Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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