my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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