Can Purell be used as lube?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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