she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
