The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize