The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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