The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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