so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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