Porn is love you can see.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
