I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
