Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
