This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize