I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
