I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
